Finding Something Else.

I have mentioned before that my motto as a SAHM will be “Find something else to eliminate besides you.” Meaning that my job as a SAHM will be to budget and cut costs in every which way possible and figure out all of the non necessities in life and eliminate every single thing that isn’t necessary, besides me in order to stay on budget. That budget will consist of whatever my husband makes. Period. Even if that means we live below the poverty line. I will find other things to eliminate from the home besides me. It is my opinion that 2 income families are never really necessary. They are just wanted. The family wants to have cable TV. The family wants to drive nice cars. The family wants to live in a big house in big cities. The family wants to wear nice clothes, so if dad’s salary can't provide that, mom goes back to work. It's kind of a bummer attitude to have in society, I think. But I am going off on a tangent now actually. This posting is not in order to defend my opinion about the fact that 2 income families are not necessary. This posting is to give myself and others some ideas on how to budget. The idea actually came to me from… The Doc, did any of you know that I am obsessed with her? Well, I am, but that is also besides today’s point. She often tells stories of when her son Deryk was younger. He was a toddler and money was tight in their home. She was a SAHM and was not interested in working during the day. (She did some work, but it was from 5am-7am when Deryk was sleeping and in the evening after husband Lew was home and Deryk was asleep.) One of the best ways she found to cut costs was only to have one car in their family. So, her husband Lew drove their only car to work and Dr. Laura hung out with Deryk during the day finding places they could go and things they could do on foot or by bicycle. When I first heard this, I was actually shocked. My initial reaction of shock was more so that I couldn’t believe it was possible to live or function without a car. How could a SAHM not have a car? A car equals freedom, a car equals activities and adventures that otherwise might not be possible, a car is just a basic human need isn’t it? Or is it… I got to thinking about this, and at first I admired her for her willing sacrifice but openly admitted that I would never be able to make that same sacrifice to stay at home. Well, this was over a year ago, and since then I have done a lot of thinking about her level of sacrifice to be a SAHM. Also since then, I have changed my way of thinking, from all the things a person could not do if they didn’t have a car, to pondering all the ways a person could make life work without a car. Because as the years have continued, my resolve and

dedication to be a SAHM at any cost continues to grow and if it were really to come down to it, I have come to the conclusion that I really would give up a car to stay at home with my kids. (I am hoping and praying that it does not come down to that, but if it does, consider this my promise to all of you. I said it, and you can hold me to it.) What a challenge it would be. What a sacrifice it would require. What creativity I would need. But I have decided it is possible. It is something I am pondering how to make work. Going grocery shopping on Saturdays when the one car we have is available, riding bikes everywhere within riding distance and saving big outings and fieldtrip activities for the weekends, walking to local parks and recreation centers, and utilizing public transportation are all ways I have come up with to still get out of the house and survive mommy life without a car. In instances where having a car for the day is absolutely necessary, I could drop off and pick up husband from work. It is possible. Not a pleasant thought, but it is possible to live in today’s world without a car. Just imagine how much exercise my children and I would get walking and riding our bikes everywhere.

My point in this post is to bring up and point out the fact that the things most of us have labeled necessities are not actually necessities. Until I began to think about it, I never really thought that it was possible to function without a car, now I have realized that it is more possible than I would like to admit sometimes. What other things have we as a society deemed necessities that are actually not necessities? Internet. Could I imagine a home without internet? I think I would go crazy. I would actually give up my car more easily than I could give up home internet, but internet is not a necessity. I could always go to the public library and use the free internet there. What about cable TV? Or having DVR. Pretty sure my life was not complete until I had a DVR at my fingertips. Now that I have one, I could never go back to regular television… or could I? Cell phones? Nowadays cell phones have basically replaced home phones so having a cell phone may be necessary. But I will tell you what is not necessary— things like smart phones, internet on cell phones, cell phones that double as iPods or GPS systems. A modest cellular phone that does the basic calling and text messaging is really all that is arguably necessary. The convenience and peace of mind that comes from having a cell phone I will admit may be a necessity in today’s world. But there are ways we can cut back. A good friend of mine and someone I admire greatly has blogged the following about her goal to eliminate non-necessities and simplify her life. I think it adds a great deal to the point I am trying to make and I think it would be of benefit for any of you out there to read. You can find it here at Hopes and Dreams.

She resolved to get rid of her I-Phone, and after a month of this simplification, she shared THIS experience.

Bottom line is that there are things in our home that we women can eliminate without eliminating ourselves from the home and putting us in the work force. This motto I have basically engraved upon my heart and upon my desire to be a SAHM in the future has come from the Doc. She is the first person I heard say, “Find something else to eliminate besides you.” Since first hearing it, I have put in endless hours of thought as to just how exactly I can do that. Luck has nothing to do with being a SAHM. It's about making that the number one priority in your family and sacrificing all that is necessary to have that priority become a reality.

I would love to hear if any of you have other ideas about things you can eliminate or sacrifices that you have made in order to stay at home with your kiddos.