30 Days of Photographs. Day 1

I saw someone else do this 30 days of photographs and I wanted to copy cat it. But I have changed some of the photo requirements to ones I liked better. I wont be posting for 30 days in a row... But for the next little bit look for pictures I have prepared for you to help you get to know me just a little better, and that showcase my life, and things that bring me happiness. 

Day 1: A picture of me accompanied by 10 facts about me.

1. I have never been in a car accident as a driver. And only once as a passenger. This is the picture of my battle wounds. I got in a car accident while in a taxi in Ukraine. My face smashed {hard} into the seat in front of me, as you can see. And somehow, the back seat I was sitting on lifted and my shoe got tangled on a hook underneath the seat and then the seat came back down for us to sit on all within half a second. When I started to gain my bearings I was unaware that the seat had lifted and I was so freekin confused how my foot/shoe got tangled underneath a car’s backseat. It took quite some time to understand that the seat was not secure and could be lifted and we lifted me to freedom. Thank goodness I didn’t smash my ankle under that seat.

2. My 3 favorite places on the planet: Lake Tahoe and Lovers Beach in Cabo San Lucas and of course Disneyland.

3. I will not touch animals and pets of any kind and I would NEVER own one… except for one animal {one that I can't get enough of} Horses. I will be a horse owner someday.
 

4.I miss Russian with all my heart. I wish it was as commonly spoken as Spanish.

5. I don't own a single Apple product, including an iPod. I have an MP3 player that serves just fine. And I don't have to have iTunes to use it. {I really don't like how you have to have everything Apple to use anything Apple}

6. I get annoyed much easier than I get angry but usually when I am annoyed people think I am angry. I display the wrong emotion it seems. I should work on that. What are annoyed emotions supposed to display themselves as I wonder?

7. I am NOT a morning person, I am a night owl. If you talk to me within 15 minutes of me waking up, I will most likely be rude to you. Sorry, I am not thinking very rationally yet.

8. I am a total germophobe and I hate public bathrooms more than anything.

9. I would give anything right now for a Sharma and a box of Cherry Juice from Ukraine.

10. A perfect, and I do mean perfect day for me would consist of sitting in the sunshine at a Marlins game with sunglasses, good friends and all the Shirley Temples I could drink. I will however settle for any baseball game.

Stay tuned for 29 more days of pictures :) 

I weep for the future.

I am just going to have a venting moment.

One thing that I don't appreciate is the lack of appreciation for good music kids have these days.

How did this happen? I ask myself every day. 

Case in point. I am a substitute teacher right? Well, today I went to an assembly at the high school that I was subbing at. Among other activities there was a game of name that tune for 3 contestants. The 3 chosen played a couple of rounds, not only were they allowed to give the name of the song but they could also just name the artist. Sooooo easy right? I would have dominated. First round they start playing the fabulous 

Cindi Lauper. Nada. Blank stares all around. I mean how do you not know Cindi Lauper? Round 2, freeking Justin BEAVER  song. 3 hands shoot right up and they all fight over who is going to answer the question. At this point I am so bugged that they know Justin Beaver over Cindi Lauper. I mean is there even a comparison? Then, THEN they play Van Halen JUMP! One of the best songs that came from not only the band but the era right? No one knew what it was! Final round, they play one of the most famous songs OF ALL TIME. Wanna gander at what song it was? Well, when you think most famous song of all time I am sure this comes to mind as one of the possibilities. Yep, LET IT BE by the freeking Beatles. Not only do they NOT know the NAME OF THE SONG, they don't even know the freeking artist? REALLY??? I am so annoyed by this. Tell me I am not the only one.

Well... me and this guy are in it together.

Ten points for naming this movie.

Small Moments...

Those of you in the blogging world must know about Syd from the Daybook. She has this feature that I think she invented called Awkward and Awesome Thursdays. Every Thursday she makes a list of all the awkward and awesome things that she has experienced over the past week and she invites all of her followers to do the same and they have a giant link party every week. I have always been interested in this but never really felt that awkward and awesome moments really fit so brilliantly into my blog. Well, a couple of days ago I started making a list of small moments I had been having over the past week, small ways that I enjoy life, small moments that I cherished, small moments that brought me peace, or joy or some kind of fulfillment. Then it hit me. I could do this every week and blog about it. I could even figure out some way to make my own button and have a link party {learning how to do this is a long ways away…I am still pretty unsure of how this fancy blogging stuff really works} I got excited about the fact that I could be the inventor of a button. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would ever create a button. Anyways, until I get to that point in the blogging world, for now I am just going to make a list of my life’s small moments and post them weekly or so. Because, as I plan on creating a button to say;

"Enjoy the little things in life. For one day you might look back and realize they were the big things."

And looking for the little moments in our lives might just help us to become more optimistic, which inevitably leads to a more enriching life, which is what this blog is all about right?

So, until I get a cool button and link party how-to knowledge, if you would like to participate, just make a list of your life’s small moments and put a link to your blog post in the comment box. We can all be inspired by each other.

Here are the small moments I cherished this week: 

1. Listening to my 10 year old sister giggle at my jokes. It is the cutest little giggle you could imagine. I feel like a hero when she thinks I am funny.

2. Being able to cry in front of my friends and trusted mentors. It was just what I needed.

3. Open Arms. Specifically Steve Perry. After my tearful experience mentioned in #2, I did what I typically do when I am done crying. I listened to Open Arms about 30 times on repeat. There is just something about Steve’s voice and particularly in that song that comforts and calms me after I have been crying. It is always my go-to song for those crying moments. It was a surreal moment.

Steve, have I told you lately that I love you?

4. A good nap. I have not been able to sleep well for about 10 days now {not even for naps} due to my overactive brain stressing about things I mentioned in a previous post. I recently had a special experience with some good friends whom I greatly admire and as a result I was able to calm my mind and take a much needed nap yesterday that was refreshing to say the least. That was a precious small moment in my week.

5. Village Inn with 2 girls that I adore. We ordered the most random midnight snacks you could imagine and just sat for close to 2 hours gabbing. That was a small moment but it meant so much to me. Not to mention Josh the wonder waiter who was the funniest part of my night. Loved him.

6. My 1 year old niece who NEVER sits still, decided to sit on my lap to eat her bottle while I was babysitting her. It was the only time in the entire afternoon that she let me just chill with her. She is the cutest and yes I am prejudice. She is growing up so fast. I wonder what kind of a cousin she will be to my kiddos. The best one. I’m Certain. I will miss moments like that when she grows up.

Just look at that face.

Couldja Die?

7. Catching a fly ball when I played center field in my first softball game of the season. It was a great way to start out this season.

8. Bowling with buddies. It was the perfect night.

9. Going for a walk in the sunshine. The greatest tunes known to man blasting on my iPod. 

10. The fact that I get to play softball again tonight.

Small moments are all around. I have had a blast seeking them out this past week. You ought to try it. It makes life so interesting.  Link up your small moments in the comment box and keep looking for those small moments daily.

Today...

In my quest to find My Voice on this blog, I have been taking some time off in posting frequently. Most recently I have shared with you 2 of the 3 goals that I have made for the month of April. I am working on some other posts that will chronicle my joys, my hobbies, my growth, my goals, and my experiences, but for now I am happy to report on my April goals. I am doing fabulously on the first goal of washing my face every night. I only failed once because I was seriously way too tired. I barely had the energy to take my shoes off and crawl into bed. But don't worry; I washed my face as soon as I got up the next day to make up for it. As far as the budget is going, I already shared my failure for week 2, but week 3 is much better. I am pretty confident that I will be able to make up for what I spent last weekend and my spending habits have gotten way better. I am now forcing myself to decipher between wants and needs and my wants are just not being as catered to anymore.

My 3^rd goal for the month I have decided to keep private. I will report that while I sometimes don't do as well as I would like, I can see daily growth in the right direction and that is all I can hope for. I am proud of myself for the efforts I am making. This is something that I have been wrestling with for probably the past decade or more, and can't hope to change in just a few weeks, but the growth is all I am after, which I am happy about.  

In my recent attempts to shift this blog into more of  what it needs to become; today I want to share some of the things that I am grateful for, even in my trials. I am going through a lot of difficulties right now in my life, mostly difficulties that have to do with figuring out where to go from here in my life. Educational plans, career plans, financial plans, shifting towards adulthood plans… things of that nature. Lately they have been REALLY stressing me out. Stressing me out to the point that I can't sleep and I may or may not be losing my hair. Through it all, as difficult as it may be, keeping focused on the-glass-is-half-full mentality has really been helping me to stay focused and happy. It has enabled me to enjoy life’s small moments regardless of the bigger struggles.

So…  

Today I am grateful for a job that I love. (One of the most cherished lessons I have learned in my life is to NOT force myself to work at a job that I hate just for money’s sake.) While I don't make much annually, I adore what I do. I recently gave up a job that more than doubled my current annual salary. I gave it up because I was miserable. I am so blessed to know that no price tag can be put on my happiness, and a good job is a huge part of that happiness. While the lack of money is holding me back from some of my life’s dreams, I get to live most of them with just a few bucks. That to me is priceless.

Today I am grateful for choices. I get to decide for myself what I want out of life. While the pressure of making these decisions is keeping me up at night, I am grateful that I get to decide. I don't live in a country or a society where I am told what I will be doing from the government, from a father or from a husband. That is freedom that I cherish. If it were up to someone else to decide what I should be doing with myself I would most likely be stuck in a miserable situation. 

Today I am grateful for summer, even though it is really teasing me right now. I think best when I am in the sunshine. I am looking forward to being able to sit outside and meditate about my future. I have a feeling I will best be able to figure myself out, and find solutions to my current plaguing thoughts in those moments. Also, I can't think of anything I enjoy doing more than taking my bike out for a long ride, playing in a softball game, or watching a baseball game, spitting sunflower seeds all over the bleachers. I wait anxiously all winter long for those times. In these moments my life is peaked with satisfaction. 

 I am grateful for my Father in Heaven. I know that He is mindful of my situation and that His hand is in my life. I am grateful that He is approachable and that He loves me. Even when I get frustrated in the situations I find myself in, I know that they are very insignificant moments in the scheme of things. Keeping that in mind is very rewarding and calming. My faith in Him is strong. 

 Today I am grateful for great friends. While we have what seems sometimes like polar opposite agenda’s for our lives, we keep finding ourselves in similar situations that we have to work out. The comfort and perspective it gives me to have people I love facing similar trials is another priceless component to my life.

Today I am grateful for possibilities. I don't care to go into those at this point in time, but a situation that has once given me an ulcer because of anxiety and worry is, for today anyways, not worrying me. I have peace in my possibilities. 

Today I am grateful for self-worth. This is something I cherish daily, because it is something that I worked hard for. But I suppose that today I am especially grateful for opportunities others have at seeing my self-worth. I had 2 such experiences over the weekend. It is very rewarding.  

Through all the stresses of finding oneself that I am currently facing, I am grateful for life. I am grateful for the little stuff. I am grateful for the good days and for the bad days. I am grateful for the opportunities at growth that I will always have in this life and the sense of fulfillment that comes from effort to improve.

I fell off the wagon.

It is time to reveal to you my second goal for the month of April. And it is also time to confess that I have already failed at it. 

My second 3 in 30 was to stay on a budget.

 

I have this problem, see. 

I spend way too much money. 

I guess part of it stems from the fact that I can. I have no debt. I have no bills. I have no responsibilities like going to school, feeding kids, or budgeting for husband and therefore all my money gets blown.

My secret indulgences are DVD’s, Jewelry, and Shoes. I spend way too much money on those items.

See:

My ridiculous DVD collection.

 I have close to 40 pairs that I regularly wear.

I have dozens and dozens of necklaces and rings, watches, bracelets and earrings.They are my newest obsessions.

See, one of the problems that I have is that I have become comfortable in spending however much I want on whatever I want. (I recently spent $65 on a bracelet for crying out loud. I still cringe when I think about it, but then again it’s just SOOOOOO cute, how could I not?)

See my problem.

So, for the month of April I decided to stop spending so much. The past few months (OK you caught me, for the past year or so) my credit card bills for the month have been at least $1,000. Sometimes more {although I can't think of a month when it was less.} Now, here is the good news. I am not going into debt. I have enough cash that I can pay off my credit card in full each month.  So, it is not as though I am spending myself into a mountain of debt. {Like I said, this girl is 100% debt free} However, my savings account… well, that is a whole nother story.

I used to be a huge saver. I had thousands in my savings account at one point. But then I went back to school, traded in my full time job for a part time job, and slowly depleted my savings. Now that school is over {can I get an amen sista?} I can go back to a steadier working schedule and can start to save again right? Well, I should be able to but another confession leads me to say that I have not been able to save much over the past 4 months since graduation. I am typically spending that money on my stupid CC bill. Which is way too high by then end of the month.

So, for one of my 3 in 30’s I have decided to stop spending. I have put myself on an extremely tight budget. Are you ready: $75 dollars a week. Now this is a significant decrease, seeing as how I was typically blowing around $250 a week. $75 dollars can be blown in any way I see fit, but only $75. All I can say is It Is Hard. Week one I was brilliant. I only spend $4 more than my allotted amount, and I decided to roll that balance over to week 2.

I even have this inspired idea, {that I cannot take credit for, thanks to Carly} that I pay myself on FRIDAYS so that I get the majority of my $ for the weekend.

Week 1 was not met without challenges. I had to stop myself numerous times from splurging. I had to rethink what I was buying. I had to prioritize what was important. I felt great. I felt accomplished. I felt like I did a great thing at keeping my CC bill DOWN for the month of April.

Week 2 rolls around. My friends invite me to go to the What Women Want expo on Saturday, which sounds fabulous right? {I thought so too}

Well, I started out good. I had already spent some of my weekly money on this necklace:

(cute hu?) So I didn’t have my full $75 bucks for the week. Also, I still needed to go grocery shopping, so I knew I couldn’t spend more than about $20 bucks at this event. Sounds great. I get there and I start making mental notes about how much I am spending. $3 on nail polish. No problem. $5 on a necklace. Not bad. $3 on iPod accessories. So far so good. I am not going overboard and I am really having fun. Then, I saw these.

 At first I walked away from the booth. Because I was on a budget. Then, I happened to see the booth again on my way out. I stopped and looked. My creativity started flowing {I had been inspired by some other accessories I saw at the expo} I saw a woman clip one onto her high heals. 

 Adorable. 

 

I thought I could clip some onto some necklaces and make some homemade versions of these cute necklaces that are so in right now. 

 {Don't mind the awkward and poor quality photograph of my necklace.}

I also saw another woman clip on onto her headband. 

I just decided I could buy 2. That was right in my budget. I started thinking about the colors that I would get to put on some high heals. I thought about the colors that would look good on my headband with my red hair. Then I thought about the colors that would look good bunched up together on a necklace. As you can Clearly see, I didn't end up with just 2. I picked out 4. So the woman starts running my credit card. While she was running it I kept looking. She finished the transaction. I found 3 more that I liked. I made her run the card again.

**Fail**

By this point I am beyond my $20 budget that I had given myself for the day.

Then. I saw it.

The cutest pencil skirt that I have seen in ages. {I love pencil skirts} they show off my best ASSet. {wink wink} And since Mr. Right is still out there somewhere, I figured I’d better give him just a glimpse of that ASSet he could be marrying at some point right? {ha. Ha. HA.}
I was completely and totally sold. I tried it on. I was even more sold. It even had the cutest duck feathers hanging off my bum. The cost $36.

I couldn’t resist.

I failed on my 2 week of budgeting.

But just LOOK at it. Could you die?

Are you so impressed with my one-handed-taking-a-picture-of-my-bum talent? {it is harder than it looks}

And sorry it is so wrinkle-y. I wore it yesterday and sat down a lot. And was too lazy to iron it for this picture.

Confession: the skirt is not the only story I could tell about splurging on Saturday. I did the same justification for some other somewhat expensive items. Bottom line: I think I spent a week and a half’s worth budget in 1 day. Bummer.

Don't worry, I am going to figure in what I spent on Friday into the next few weeks so that it will all come out even in the end.Even more of a strict budget coming right up. Meanwhile, I am getting back on the wagon and I am going to start saving. Because a 26 year old single woman with a good job and no bills should have more to show for her life than a zero balance in her savings account.

Here is to failing at life’s goals and NOT giving up on them.

What are your secret indulgences slash failed goals? Are you ready to get back on the wagon with me?

Time To Go Public

3 in 30. April 2011. Goal #1

I do a lot of blog stocking. And blog hopping. Blogs have become my newest cyber black hole. It used to be Facebook, but thanks to a goal I made about 2 months ago, to stay away from FB for 2 weeks, my FB activities have significantly declined. Now I spend a lot more time reading blogs. This is an activity I feel better about because I gain more from blogs than Facebook. I am given lots of good ideas by others. I am taught by others and I am inspired by others.  

I was blog hopping few weeks ago and I found this blog that has a segment that I really enjoy and have decided to do. She calls it 3 in 30 and basically she focuses on 3 goals that she wants to implement over the next 30 days. (I have thrown up her button over there to the left… You can click on it to get more info.) We have all heard that it takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit, or is it 28? Now I can't remember. But it doesn’t really matter because doing something for 30 days will be sufficient. The basic idea this woman came up with was to take it slow and steady. Choosing only 3 goals to focus on every 30 days and hopefully turning them into habits is the whole basis of this 3 in 30 thing. Pretty simple right? I think so too. And it fits in pretty perfectly with this new life’s perspective I have seem to taken on. See,

The past few months I have really been focusing on self improvement. One of the main reasons why I have been doing this comes from a lesson I was taught by the Doc on self esteem. I blogged about that a while back and it continues to be one of my favorite postings. Since learning about where self esteem comes from, and finally getting some for myself, I have become addicted. I am not sure if this contrast comes from having a lifetime with no self esteem and then finally having some but it feels so great to finally believe in myself, to finally know that I am worth someone amazing. Since learning that the more efforts I make in improving myself the more confidence I have, the stronger I feel, the more able to conquer life’s trials and heartaches, I have only wanted to continue on in that path in my own life. I am doing this for several other reasons, reasons I am not sure that I will share today, but the main one is that I can finally feel good about myself because I am trying. That is all that I can hope for in my life. That is all I believe this life’s journey is about. And man is it satisfying! I am so grateful that I have come to learn this lesson so early on in my life. Efforts to self improve are highly rewarding and satisfying.

One of the things that I would like to do with this blog, in an effort to find my voice, and in an effort to better myself and strengthen my self esteem, is to document efforts that I am making at self improvement. I have found that when I put a goal on this blog I am far more likely to keep it. I feel like I am far more accountable than I am when I just make goals that I keep between me and myself. I found that with the Facebook goal I made. I tried to stay off Facebook for 2 weeks straight. I would have cracked many times if I had not publicly committed to stay off of it. There is also another post in which I came clean to being shallow. Since I went public with that I have been making great efforts to keep my thoughts away from the physical appearance of people and really get to know them before deciding whether or not they were quality people with which to associate with. I have come to learn that I was only hurting myself by judging others by their appearances. I still resort back to my default reaction from time to time but I have come far. I see progress almost every day. And this pleases me.

So, now that we are already about a week into April, I figured it was high time that I went public with the 3 in 30 that I have chosen to tackle in April. When I first decided to do this 3 in 30 I started making a list of goals that I want to do over the next few months. I have come up with a huge list of goals. I actually got really excited to start implementing a ton of them, so much that I actually had a very difficult time narrowing it down to just 3. There are lots of different categories of goals too, social goals, goals for my health, goals to expand my mind, goals that have to do with my spiritual development, lots of different goals. But, since I don't want to get burnt out I forced myself to pick just 3 as my 3 in 30. I can and have been making some efforts towards some of the other goals, but my 3 in 30 are the main ones I am focusing on. 

I’ll have you know that I have been doing a swell job at my 3 goals for this month. I have succeeded in doing each of them daily. I am very pleased with my progress. I am only going to tell you about one of them today. The other 2 will be revealed in the near future.

Now, this first goal may seem a little petty, perhaps insignificant to many of you. Others of you may gasp in horror when you read my soon confession. But you will soon learn that it does have significance to me. 

Deep breath. (I still get really self conscious when I make public confessions like this.)

I never wash my face.

Or at least I didn’t until April 1, 2011.

I know I know, those of you religious face washers are probably disgusted with me right now. It's like confessing that I never brush my teeth. {Now THAT is disgusting.}

The truth is, I'm super duper annoyed when it comes to washing my face. I seriously hate when you are done and the sink is covered in water. Your shirt is covered in water. Your arms are soaking wet and the water keeps running down your arms. Your eyes are closed and you are trying to feel your way to the towel that is never big enough to clean up the water mess you just made. I get so annoyed by that process that I stopped doing it years ago.

It's always the shoe maker’s children who go without shoes right? Well my mom is an esthetician. Which basically means she has the most gorgeous skin, she uses the most expensive and highest quality products on the market (her current regimen retails at close to $500 and she would probably kill me for posting that) that are worth every penny, and she spends probably hours each week taking care of her skin. She is getting “older,” in the skin department but she could easily pass for 15 years younger than she is because she takes such amazing care of her skin. Her skin literally glows (and not only because she is such a great person… which is part of it… but literally that her incredibly healthy skin just glows.)  She has the most advanced products and techniques to take care of skin, and I don't utilize any of it. She typically gasps in horror when she hears me talk about how I never wash my face, how I never clean off my phone (which I think gives me bad zits when I press it against my face) how I pick at my zits that are not ready yet (a BIG no-no in the world of esthetics) and how even when I am in the shower I don't wash my face. She asks me over and over what products I am using, and if I need some toner or face wash or mask that is literally top of the line and never ceases to shudder and lecture when she hears that “nope, I don't need it.”

So, the consequences of this….

{How awkward are those close-ups of my… ahem… ‘blemishes’…. I know I know I know, very awkward, but we are being honest here today.}

Let me just start out by saying that I am embarrassed by posting this photograph. And that the current state of my face, showcased in this photograph is actually pretty good. It’s typically worse than this, and the camera cannot even show what the naked eye can see, which is again, even worse. What this photograph also doesn’t show you is the hundred more tiny zits that can only be seen in the correct lighting and a close-up mirror. And what this photograph also doesn’t show you is what is under the makeup. Thank Heavens for makeup. Yes I know, my mother is ashamed at the state of my skin.

I don't know why having a face full of zits has always been less annoying to me than washing my face has been, but it has. (Probably it’s also been a heavy combination of me being lazy, which is a common theme in certain aspects of my life.)

But truth be told, I am trying to be a better person. And taking pride in my physical appearance is one of those things that I feel would improve my overall person. This isn’t in a (nor is it intended to be in a) vein or prideful way, because I feel that one can take pride in his/her appearance without being prideful. It is more the fact that I do have inner and outer beauty that deserves to be showcased. So, that is goal number one. To wash my face every night. And you guys will never guess the excitement my mother showed when I told her that I wanted to start to wash my face. She took me into her bathroom and began to throw about 20 different products at me. Products that I know cost her a pretty penny. (She is so generous!) Products that I had no idea existed. Products that I had no idea how to use. I ended up only taking 4 with me. {And you might be interested to know that she had to slowly explain to me 4 times how to wash my face. What steps to use and what products to use and in what order.) I think I finally got it down. And I am very proud to say that I have washed my face every day since then.

ME: “How long until I start seeing results mom?”

MOM: “How old are you… 26 right?

ME: “Yep”

Mom: “That would make your  cell turnover rate at about 20 days, and you will need 2 cell turnover rates to start seeing results, so 40 days.” (She is a good esthetician. Smarty pants that one)

ME: {defeated sigh} “Alright then. 4o days.” (I want everything to happen overnight.)

So, here is to me and my new face washing regimen. And you know what? It is inspiring me to go the extra mile nightly too, with other things… Such as flossing and taking out my contacts, which I had the tendency to overlook all too frequently.

What are your 3 in 30’s?