Eureka

So… I had this beautiful epiphany that really hit me one day and I find seriously interesting. It's all about self esteem, and of course the radical feminist movement and what they have to do with each other. I think the approach that I am going to take in explaining this is the same route that my brain took to discover it. So, it all started when I learned exactly what self esteem is and where it comes from. If you have not read One. Gorgeous. Redhead. Go back and read it so that you know where we are in terms of where we get self esteem. A quick summary for those of you who have already read it, remember that self esteem means that you’re impressed with yourself. Not in a cocky or conceited way, but in a way that you respect yourself for the hard work that you accomplish. When you work hard at becoming a better person, when you work hard at setting and excelling in goals, when you work hard at serving and being kind towards others you will find precious, genuine, and untouchable self esteem.

Now, moving forward…

So, the Radical Feminist Movement, remember in this post how it brainwashed and bullied women into believing that being a wife, a mother, and a homemaker were no longer adequate and that unless they are working and bringing home a paycheck they are meaningless human beings? Well, as a result, good parents are hard to find. Women are far too busy with the full time jobs, the cooking, and the cleaning to be fully invested in good parenting. Fathers are either nowhere to be found because they humped and dumped, or they have minimal custody and don't care to spend what little time they do have in good parenting. Even those fathers who are in the home, usually follow the wife’s lead in parenting and typically the wives are too exhausted with all their other responsibilities that parenting takes the back burner. Therefore children are not getting parented anymore. Their parents are too concerned with winning the popularity contest among their children to ever use tough love. Their parents are too tired to stand firm and be consistent. They feel guilty about their lack of involvement that they hand over things like cell phones, iPods, cars, and endless unearned privileges with zero effort made on the part of the children to work towards them. The Radical Feminist Movement took the once important priority to be a good and responsible parent and threw it out the window. It comes last on a long list of far more important things.

So, this epiphany came to me one day while talking to a 13 year old girl. She mentioned to me that she has low self esteem, which was quite evident in her behavior. I thought to myself how sad this is. Yet it is not a surprise at all, in fact across the board I am sure at least 90% of young teens, especially teen girls, you will find low self esteem. Teens these days do not have good self esteem. Why is this I thought? Why is there this sweeping epidemic of low self esteem in our youth? I thought of times in our history and I don't ever recall a time where low self esteem was so prevalent. This is fairly unique to the current generations, beginning some 30 years ago. Why is this? I kept thinking. Why now? What is different now than 30 plus years ago? Why isn’t anyone able to feel decent anymore? Well, this got me to thinking of course where self esteem comes from and how it is obtained. Hard work right. Well, the young kids, especially those growing up as young teens now, know absolutely nothing about hard work. Hard work in school, hard work to earn things, hard work in relationships, hard work at being decent people, hard work in maturing, these are all relatively foreign concepts to our growing generations.

Hard work to buy things is one area where our young children know nothing about. When I was a kid and I wanted to buy something I used to have to earn the money pulling weeks, babysitting, walking dogs, lemonade stands, and all the other typical kid ways of earning money. I felt good about my accomplishments and felt pride in being able to make and manage my own money. As a result, I have had a job since I was 14, I have been financially independent for some time, and I have never been in debt. I have always take pride in my ability to earn and manage money. I have a sense of confidence that I will be able to provide for myself and that has always felt reassuring. Regardless of the low self esteem I had about myself, I have never felt low self esteem in a financially stable way. But I have always had to work hard to be able to feel confident in my abilities. These days I think it’s a combination of guilt and being lazy, but parents just pacify the whining and desires of their children to have expensive toys by handing them over. Requiring nothing in return-- not even good behavior. This leads to the attitude of entitlement, far from self esteem.

Hard work in school is another thing that is foreign to our teenagers. First and foremost, public education is not a challenge to probably 70% or more of our young people. I see this in the classrooms I visit daily. The work is not challenging anyone to work hard for their grades. Those who don't understand, those to whom it does challenge, give up quickly and get into trouble. Those who are lazy and not challenged by school, just sit around. I wrote a 154 page paper for my undergrad degree. (yea, I know I should have a doctorate with that thing.) I am done now but when I was writing it I HATED IT. It was hard. It was a challenge to my brain for sure. It was difficult to manage my time and meet all the deadlines that it required, but I felt good when I finished that sucker. I pushed myself academically, and now I look at the 15 page papers that my siblings are writing and just snicker at how easy they are. Point is, I felt great accomplishment in working hard in school. Not just getting good grades, because good grades in junior high and high school rarely correlate with working hard, but pushing myself academically I learned that I can do difficult things and that makes me proud of my accomplishments. I am confident and have self esteem in that area, because I worked hard to push myself through all the challenges I met in all 16 years of school.

I have always been a pretty selfish person. I am not sure exactly where that trait came from, but while I ponder that answer, I have been working very hard in my friends and family relationships to change that. I make much more of a conscious effort, I am aware, I apologize when I behaved poorly, and I know that one day I will be able to conquer this. This working hard to grow feels good. I feel like I am not just stagnate in my emotional development. Admitting my ugly trait is difficult, and apologizing for poor behavior is anything less than fun, but I can see the growth in my life, even just in baby steps and it feels good. This is another area where my self esteem is earned. Kids these days though, are never challenged by their parents to behave in a more kind and generous way. The very act of spoiling children, as I said, leads to feelings of entitlement, which makes people selfish and rude, unwilling to bend to help people out. People are never going to feel good about themselves as a person if they constantly act selfish and rude and act as though they are entitled. Yet another reason why our young people have such low self esteem.

The connection I have seen is that between poor educational challenges and lazy/guilty parents kids are no longer working for or towards anything. Without hard work, there can be no self esteem. People who accomplish difficult things earn the feelings of esteem that come with that. Kids unfortunately are being robbed of many opportunities to work hard and learn and feel self respect, admiration, and esteem.

So, all you parents out there, I would encourage you to provide many opportunities for your children to work hard and earn self esteem. Don't be lazy. Good parenting is hard. But as the Doc is famous for saying—Don't have ‘em if you won't raise ‘em. You brought them into the world—You are morally obligated to do the right thing by them. Don't just throw electronics and other privileges at them. All they learn is how to be entitled. Is there a bigger turnoff in a person? I can't really think of many.

I mean, remember this entitled nasty? Nuff said.

The Feminist Movement. Part 6. The Decline of the Family.

The problems we are having in our current society are pretty serious. They are causing a lot of destruction, pain, and confusion. They are causing more and more children to grow up in broken homes or homes with never married mothers which usually equal no fathers. An intact family with both a mother and a father is biologically necessary to completely normal human development, and so the lack thereof cause a lot of people to have what we call in the pop psych world, issues. Issues of abandonment, issues of distrust, issues of low self esteem, issues of insecurity, and so on. We are then using those issues as excuses for making poor decisions and bad behavior, which more often than not affect dozens of lives outside of oneself and of course have a very negative effect on the society that we live in. Where did all these problems come from? I have asked myself this many times as I have pondered the problems we have now that we never had 50+ years ago. I have my own theory as how we digressed from a practically crimeless society with virtually zero percent divorce rate in the 50’s

into one that is crawling with crime and up to a 50% divorce rate. How did we go from a society where having sex out of wedlock was reserved for prostitutes who were disrespected, to a society where sex is almost expected on the first date and one night stands are as prevalent as brushing one’s teeth? A society where those who wait for marriage are pretty much mocked and looked at as prudes? Where did the digression start? Of course my theory is that it stemmed from the feminist movement, but before I get into explaining that, I want to get into what I believe to be the basic unit of society—the family. I just graduated with a minor in child and family studies in which I studied children, the family and family relationships quite extensively. The fact that the family is the basic unit of society was discussed over and over again. It is a fact. There have been numerous studied and it’s been proven and written up in plenty of journal entries and text books. Families are the cornerstone of civilization. Basically the idea is that when the family is stable, it produces stable offspring. When we want to examine society we just look into the families that make up that society. All those families who live in the ghetto have many similarities. Likewise those families who are living in the suburbs, or the gated, nice and clean community oriented neighborhoods—all of those families have similarities too. When the decline in our families began, the decline in our communities inevitably followed. When we stopped raising our children in strong, committed marriages they began to become weaker, less responsible members in our society. Families shape society. That is a proven fact. Now what is the one difference between the families in our society today and in the world 50 years ago? Yup, the Stay At Home Mom. Now, this is just my opinion and you can take it for what it is worth, it isn’t a proven theory. I didn’t read about this from a study conducted or from a professional. I was just thinking about the problems that we face as a society, the sex problems, the drugs, the abortions, the teen pregnancies, the stupidity of the growing generation, and so on and I was thinking about the Leave it to Beaver 50’s generation when this dawned upon me. The difference is mothers who were in the home taking care of the house and the family, and not somewhere else, working. When we took mothers out of the home chaos ensued. The decline in our society is largely a result of the feminist movement and the dying breed of the Stay At Home Mom. Being a wife and mother is unfortunately no longer respected and is no longer a priority in the families of our generation. A lot of feminists believe the nonsense of “No man is gonna tie me down! I ain’t gonna be a slave to any man. I'm not going to sacrifice anything for kids.” And then they get to 40 and realise “It was a lie that my womanhood was served by ignoring men and kids.”

This is why I am an anti feminist. Because I have come to truly know and understand that my womanhood IS served by sacrificing for your husband and children. That is where I have found happiness in life. (Granted I am single and I do not have children yet, but already I know and understand that that is where my life’s happiness is going to come from.) That is why I dream of nothing else than being a stay at home mother and taking care of my family. That is the role that the biology inside me was destined to do. It wasn’t until I realize that and started taping into that natural desire that I realized how happy a woman can really be. It was suppressed for so long by all the feminists in my life who have turned the role into a condescending one that I had to and still have to fight daily. Anytime I tell anyone of my plans to just be a stay at home mom, I am given quite a hard time about it. But at the same time, anytime I have a thought about being a parent, I am filled with joy, cause I get it. I get the biology of the gender role, and I get the source of happiness that it will someday bring to my life.  

In closing, I want to share a quote from the Doc from you.

The denial of the male/female differences, the tyranny of feminism, has resulted in the sexual revolution (casual sex, casual abortions), fatherless families, children being raised in “day orphanages” (my term for day care) instead of by a mommy and a daddy, and destructive mandates like Title IX. 

Neither men nor women are happier apart or together since feminism took hold in our society.  The ongoing response I’ve had to “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” proved this point as thousands of women wrote to tell me that they understood their power as women, appreciate their femininity, and have found tremendous happiness being their husband’s girlfriend instead of persistently disgusted wife.  Women have been discovering for several decades that “having it all” simultaneously is the quick road to an emotional implosion.

The efforts that are being made to equalize our society are causing a lot of problems. I for one rejoice in the difference men and women have. I do not find it disrespectful or offensive to be noticed for my differences in abilities or talents due to my gender. I actually have found endless joy in embracing those differences and looking forward to playing the role of wife and mother.

The Feminist Movement. Part 5. Casual Sex.

Alright, it has been about 3 weeks since I have drilled you with the feminist movement. It’s time to bring on part 5. Casual Sex.  

Thanks to the feminist movement and “free love” our society has disrespected sex to nothing more than something that strangers practically expect of each other simply to feel good.

It’s ironic really, because this trend of casual sex has created a species of jerks. When a man has nothing to work for, he is not going to take the initiative to work for it. We women are the gatekeepers of morality. When we demand nothing of our men, quite typically the man will not decide on his own to esteem to anything. Before the feminist movement, if a man wanted to bed a woman he had to court a her, prove his worthiness, and devote his life to her, to taking care of her, protecting her, and providing for her. Then and only then was he allowed to bed her. Now that we women simply bed any man we meet, these guys are feeling pretty damn good about themselves. They get what they want most without ever having to work hard for it. This turns men into jerks. We women are solely responsible for the creation of jerks. We allow men to be jerks because we date them. If a jerk never got a date, he would be forced to change his ways, but since we date these guys they are never motivated to become good kind and decent. And after we have created the society full of jerks, we complain that there are no good men left. We whine when men disrespect us, don't act chivalrous towards us, yet we take no responsibility that we never demanded respect. We first disrespected ourselves by letting men have a warm place to put it without demanding any regard toward us. Jerks would be extinct if we stopped dating them. If men were no longer able to get any sexual perks without making a marital commitment towards women first they would soon realize that they can no longer be jerks. But since we do not demand anything of our men, and we don't make them work hard for sex, there will always be jerks.

The Doc goes over this idea almost daily on her show. I have heard her different versions of explaining how casual sex created jerks probably 100 times. I have done my best to put into words the lessons I have learned from her. She has however blogged about this a couple times. One of the best explanations I have ever heard on the subject comes from a comparison she makes between our society and that of the Pride and Prejudice time period. I want you to read the words she has to say on the subject. If you are interested in the original blog posting, you can find it here. I have also copied and pasted it below. 

Timeless Lessons from a Classic Story
By Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I have watched film adaptations of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in all its incarnations many, many times, and I recently watched the 2005 film version again. I love the film…no matter what criticisms may be about a portrayal or a performance. I clearly have a profound attraction to this work.

First and foremost, I love the utter regard the men had for women, which is evident from how they addressed them: “Miss…” (and their first names if they were single) or “Mrs….” (and their last names if they were married). Men bowed upon entering and leaving a woman’s presence, and women curtsied, even under unpleasant conditions. Flirting was ever-so-subtle: a look, a light “accidental” touch of a hand. A man romantically yearned for and tried to earn the affections of a woman. The sweetness of the regard for women in this era (particularly in upper and middle classes) was something to be admired, and something we now miss. There was a clear distinction between a “good” woman and an easy, loose woman or whore.

That distinction is gone today. Now, women put down good money for music that represents them as whores without pay. So many young men are casual about women and sex in general, and sex is a casual expectation almost always fulfilled.

Young women scoff at dignity and modesty as just stupid, prudish, sexist notions. They “shack up” with some dude without a marital commitment, yet expect the love and respect, fidelity and loyalty to exist without the spoken vows, only to be disappointed, hurt, and generally confused.

There was a recent film comedy, called “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” in which Matthew McConaughey (in a twist on Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”) got to go back into his life to see all his old girlfriends. There was one scene in the television ad for the movie which showed a seemingly endless dining table filled with hundreds of girls. Obviously, this was meant to show how shallow and manipulative he had been. To me, it just showed how many stupid girls there were (and are), “putting out” in a situation where there was clearly no respect, regard, or intent.

Men used to have to ask a woman’s dad for permission to “court” her, even when the woman was an adult! Now, all he has to do is show her a bedroom, back seat of a car, or a motel room, and the date is sealed. When men had to explain and express their intentions, they had to take the whole activity of dating much more seriously, as there were personal and social consequences to misleading a young lady. That reputation would annihilate any chances he might have had of marrying a good woman. He’d have to move states or provinces away. Now? That kind of rakish reputation makes girls/women want to line up to get some from an infamous entity.

The women’s revolution did not raise any consciousness worth elevating. It mostly diminished a woman’s sense of herself as special, minimized her value in the minds of men, put sex on the level of animals, created a nanny/baby-sitter/institutionalized day care financial boom (as women gave up the blessing of nurturing their own children), increased the use of abortion as a birth-control technique when an accidental pregnancy occurred with a guy who did not want fatherhood, created perpetually unhappy, angry, nasty wives, and made it very difficult for “nice girls” to be respected and cherished.

The last scene in Pride and Prejudice between the two now-married lovers has them discussing what she wants to be called by him when he is not using her given name. He suggests one name, and she rejects it sweetly, because it is what her father calls her. She then asks him what he will call her when he is angry. He, not being able to envision that situation, talks to her about always letting her know how lovingly important his happiness in wrapped up in her…forever…and he kisses her gently about her face as he says “Mrs. Darcy” over and over again. He gave her his heart, his life, his vows, and his name. And, in that era, giving a woman your name was the ultimate public and private statement of his total commitment to her, which makes that scene so moving to most of us, and infuriating to feminists who see that scene only as ripping away the woman’s identity.

I always cry at the end of the movie.

I cry also for what women have given up in exchange for wanting to have it all and not be subordinate to a man. I don’t know…I kinda think being on a pedestal is not subordinate. But what do I know? I’m only a recovered feminist.

The other problem I see with casual sex is that it creates false intimacies. I buy the opinion that all too often people today don't know love if it hit them on the face. People today have sex like rabbits, and become torn between real and false emotions. This leads to very unsatisfactory relationships. People bond sexually within the first 3 weeks of dating and then they wonder why 3 years later their spouse or shack-up boyfriend or girlfriend has turned into a horrible person. If you dated a person for 1 or 2 years and didn't sleep together you would have a much better idea of why you loved them. If you have sex in 3 weeks you are emotionally bonded without knowing who or what they really are. Look at what happened to the divorce rate around the 1970’s. It skyrocketed. Why? Because free love became rampant. 

In closing I want to share with you two videos on the subject, both from the expert herself. I realize that I have already quoted a lot from her today, but she is so much more eloquent and bold than I am. Both videos have become powerful messages to me and I recommend them to anyone, they cannot be missed, regardless of your personal values.

This first one goes over casual sex and the attitude that it has created. It is called: 

These Days, Most Women Are Pigs. 

This next video goes over dating and the roles that men and women should play when courting each other. It also plays right into the connection made between jerks and how women are responsible for creating them. It is called:

Dating Roles: NOTHING has Ever Changed

The Feminist Movement has really done a lot for us hasn't it? Personally, I would love to go back to the simpler times and be truly courted. That is the respect I have learned to demand for myself, thanks to none other than the Doc herself.

The Feminist Movement. Part 4. The dying SAHM.

If you have missed the other blog posts about The Feminist Movement, make sure you check those out. They will enhance your experience with the feminist movement laid out here. 

Part 4 of the feminist, or should I say anti- feminist movement will cover arguing how most problems in our society (poverty, drugs, sex, teen pregnancy, abortions, selfish, spoiled, incompetent and entitled children, etc) can be traced back to the fact that most mothers do not stay at home anymore with their children. Because the feminist movement told women that being at home to raise children is not an important thing, and it shouldn’t be a priority.

I started to see this connection in the internship I did for my social work major. I did it at a counseling center that specializes in rehabilitating adolescent sex offenders. Shocker I know. I see that look every time I tell someone that’s what I did. I learned a lot about sex offenders in my months there. Lots of misconceptions. But the most interesting connection for me came after getting to know the offenders’ family histories and reading more about their lives and how their offenses took place. I have been able to trace all of the offenses back to pretty much one factor. No parent in the house to supervise. Now days the kids everywhere are SURROUNDED by sex. It's on TV, it’s in commercials, it’s in the movies, it’s in video games, and it’s on the internet. The first step in the sexual offenses that took place was these boys seeing some kind of porn. They find it on their own, or they are shown it by their friends. Where was mother to monitor and supervise her children's activities? She was not at home, but at work. The next thing that happens with these boys is they begin to experience the difficult task of dealing with the thoughts and desires and curiosity that pornography brings. I can't imagine how difficult this must be, a young teenage boy going through puberty trying to deal with thoughts and feelings from porn. These boys may start off mild, viewing mild porn, but it quickly grows into much more. They become very curious about what they see, and there is no one to sit with these boys and teach them how to handle these raging sexual emotions and curiosities, because the ones who should be are both at work. Porn leads to so many other sexual activities, and

pretty soon 6^th graders are having sex, at home, in their bedrooms because there is no mom to supervise. She’s at work. (That is a real story from my internship. Can you believe it! 6th grade!)

The boys that I worked with were not supervised at the time of their offense, not any of them. They went from finding some form of porn to being alone with younger brother or sisters, cousins, neighbors, and nieces, and used them as ways to get rid of the throbbing in their groins and to appease their curiosity. Unsupervised boys get into sex. Period. There is no arguing that. Boys need pretty tight supervision to keep their sexual urges under control. When these boys were not supervised, and when their victims were not supervised, the offenses eventually took place.

I mentioned above that the feminist movement is responsible for a majority of the poverty, drugs, sex, teen pregnancy, abortions, selfish, spoiled, incompetent and entitled children that we have in our society? Where is the method to my madness? Sex is a HUGE problem in our society, and I just explained how quickly young children exposed to sex will get into big trouble. But what about those other things I mentioned?

Well, first and foremost, the feminist movement took women out of the homes. And unsupervised teenagers get into consensual sex very quickly these days. Boys want sex. Girls, especially teenage girls want male approval, love and acceptance. They just want to feel beautiful and important to someone. They desperately need a strong male role model in their lives, but thanks to all the divorces and the women who get pregnant and never marry, that natural male role model for these girls---their fathers, are gone or involved very limitedly. So these very vulnerable girls looking for male approval find these horny teenage boys to give it to them. And since neither teen has a mom at home to supervise, they have a place to go do it. This causes way too much teenage pregnancy, which also causes abortion. This also causes poverty, because most pregnant girls want to raise their babies regardless of what it will rob the baby of. Many of them don't end up marrying the boys who knock them up and now a teenage or young adult girl is left to raise a child on her own. This also leads to a whole new generation of unsupervised children, because mom is at work making ends meet. She can't afford to be home with her kids, because she has to get a paycheck. And so the cycle continues. More children get into sex. More illegitimate kids are born out of wedlock and robbed of fathers and highly involved mothers. Drugs can happen for a number of reasons. The obvious is that when teens are not supervised many get into drugs, just like sex. Second is that most of these teens are suffering from not having a nice traditional home life with a married mom and dad. Their fathers at best see them with 50% joint custody, but usually it’s much less. Moms don't see them much during the day because they are working. This leaves a child to feel neglected and it causes them a lot of pain to not have 2 loving and involved parents, which a lot use drugs to mask. Lots of drug users come from homes without married parents.

(I realize there are exceptions to every statement I am making. There are some children from intact families who struggle with similar problems, and there are children who come from broken homes who come out on top and don't struggle with drugs or sex. The point I'm making is majority focused.)

Now, how did the feminist movement create selfish, spoiled, incompetent and entitled children? Well, simply stated, parents are not parenting anymore. They are at work, and feel guilty for not being home, so they over indulge. They spoil. They buy things for their kids that they do not need nor have they earned, out of guilt for not parenting. Secondly, good parenting is hard, and many parents don't do it anymore, probably because they are too tired from working and all the other responsibilities of taking care of the home. They are too tired to parent effectively, to face the fight and tell their kids no. They give in and their kids become even more spoiled and feel even more entitled. Thus we have selfish, spoiled, and entitled children. Now how do we get incompetent children? With no parent in the home to monitor and help with education, homework doesn’t get done. I work in the public education system as a substitute teacher, and believe me, kids these days are idiots. I don't blame them; I blame their parents who never help with homework. Who never are there to explain concepts in a way their child might better understand. Many of the kids in today’s schools (take it from a sub) need pretty close attention in order to grasp the beginnings of academics. What I believe is happening is that students get frustrated from not understanding, and give up. Another problem that these poor kids have is the way we diagnose them with ADHD because they are not paying attention. In most cases they are not paying attention because they don't understand and no one gives them the time of day to sit with them and help them figure it out. (Again, I'm making a blanket statement, and as a social worker I understand that ADHD is a real problem and many are treated correctly with medications. But I have also seen many “ADHD” children who quickly overcome this diagnosis with a little extra attention and TLC.) Incompetence starts at a very young age, and just spirals downhill from there. I frequently sub 8^th graders who can barely read. I get junior high kids who can’t comprehend sentences. I see middle school kids who don't know the meanings of very basic words. This is all stemming from, in my opinion, a lack of attention when they were just starting school. So their academics are shot to hell from the get-go. Public schools are failing our children, but mostly because the teachers are not able to pick up the slack that the parents are not picking up. I'm satisfied that if we could get moms back in the homes to be involved and dedicated mothers, so much of our society would be turned around for the better. There would be less poverty and teen pregnancy, there would be better academics and our society as a whole would be kinder and far less spoiled and entitled.(And I do plan to expound upon that in later postings.)

The Feminist Movement. Part 3. The Divorce Epidemic

The feminists, created by this movement are so concerned with being “independent” and “self reliant” that they have become disrespectful of the traditional gender role a man plays. They are so worried about having to “rely” on a man that they no longer have respect for role A and role B that make up a family. Go check out my posting "The Feminist Movement Defined: The Biology of Gender Roles" for a better explanation on this, in case you missed that earlier post. These women instead of respecting their biological role, are more concerned with fending for themselves and loose all respect for the men they marry who are trying to play that role. Another disclaimer I would like to make; I do think it’s important that a woman be prepared to take care of herself and her family in case of a family tragedy. I do think women should be educated. I do think they should be prepared to provide for a family in case their husbands are no longer able to fulfill role A. But I don't think that a woman should take on the role of providing financially for a family if a man is able to do that. Failure to play these natural gender roles is going to result in a very unhappy marriage, and/or ultimately… Divorce. I want to quote/paraphrase something I once heard the Doc say… I was really struck by this,  

When a man doesn’t feel like a man, and his woman doesn’t make him feel like a man, and when a woman doesn’t feel like a woman, and her man doesn’t make her feel like a woman, just like you have in a dual income family, what you’ve got are 2 neutral people who are just going to fight. Because it is unnatural not to play the parts of your gender roles and it gets competitive fast. The feminist mentality does not express joy in femininity and masculinity. It denies that there is a difference, or if there is, it is not relevant. And certainly that masculinity is nothing to be proud of. And femininity is something that you have to submerge, because it’s more important to be at work.

So, women who choose to play the natural male role are never quite satisfied, because they were born to play the female role. They then decide to take this unsatisfactory feeling out on their husbands, and at no fault of his is she feeling this way. He is punished and scapegoated for no good reason. I went over this much more in "The Feminist Movement. Part 1. The Abusive Spouse," how the feminist movement created abusive spouses. If this guy dare to challenge his woman, he is emotionally abusive. We throw that emotionally abusive term around all too frivolously. There are 3 good reasons for divorce. Addiction, Abuse, and Adultery. Besides that there is no good reason to ruin the lives of innocent children. Unhappiness is NOT a good reason for divorce. Falling out of love is NOT a good reason for divorce. Those things should be dealt with until the last child is 18. If reconciliation is not possible after that, divorce is warranted. But until then, a couple should work at marriage, turn towards each other and not against each other, and work on respecting each other in their respective gender roles. For the sake of children, who have so much more to deal with in this world, that they don't need to have the stress, strain and heartbreak of a broken home. Women who leave the home to work, eventually end up in unhappy marriages. Unhappy marriages, because of the feminist movement and the feeling of entitlement and power a woman has over a man almost always end in divorce. Divorce is terribly detrimental and devastating to children. I speak from experience as I am the victim of a divorce, and for no good reason. Too many women feel it is their RIGHT to seek happiness outside of the marital unit that they have already created and made vows towards. That is the idea that has been put into woman's heads via the feminist movement. I feel they don't have any right to do that. They make a decision that devastates many lives, and typically not another soul has any say in it. That is morally wrong, in my never to be humble opinion.

Bottom line, most feminist women are selfish, and all too often they throw away perfectly good husbands, and devastate the lives of their children because they believe they have a right to disregard their vows and look for the greener grass they believe is on the other side.

The Feminist Movement. Part 2. Girls and Grown Women

The feminist movement created a lot more girls, and a lot less grown women. What is the difference you ask? I thought this was a cute answer to that question. I didn’t write this, I heard it on the show:

Girls leave their schedule wide open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and are willing to drop any of them for time with their man. 

Girls want to control the man in their life.

 Grown women know that if he is truly yours, he doesn’t need controlling.

Girls punish or nag you for not calling them.

Grown women understand they are not the only ones you are busy with.

Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.

Grown women ignore the bad guys. 

Girls try to make you come home. 

Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that when they are loved and loving, they are automatically beautiful to their man.  

Girls try to monopolize their man’s time. I don't want him hanging with his friends.

Grown women realize that a little bit of space makes the together time even more special.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.

Grown women offer their shoulder.

Girls want to be spoiled and tell their man so.

Grown women show him. And make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.

Girls get hurt by one man, and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that it was just one man.

Girls fall in love and aimlessly chase the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.

Grown women know that sometimes the one you love doesn’t always love you back, and they move on without bitterness.

Girls will read this and cop an attitude.

Grown women will read this and re-post it.

Boys will read this and be confused.

Men will read this and take notes and re-post it. 

Isn’t that such a perfect explanation of the difference between girls and grown women? I thought so. I don't know about you but I know plenty of girls and not enough grown women. And those damn girls are the ones who scare all the guys away from commitment. I don't blame those guys; I wouldn’t want to be committed to a girl. But it does make it a challenge for those women who are looking for commitment.

Now, Dr. Laura is an author, among many other things. She has written many books, one of which you may have heard of. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. This book gets kind of a bad wrap I'm afraid. I think, just like everything else Dr. Laura, it is pretty misunderstood and those who have opinions on the book are the ones who have not actually read it. (Remember that saying from grade school? Don't judge a book by its cover? Well, this book is no different.) Too many people like to tell me about this book without actually having read it. I have read it, twice, and it’s my marriage bible, (even though I am not married) and I tell each and every single man out there that I can to never to marry a woman if she is unwilling to read this book. This should be a deal breaker for men when picking a woman. Why? The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands has taken many girls and made grown women out of them. And you know what? Girls are not happy creatures. Grown women are. Girls are bitter, hostile, untrusting, and nasty. Grown women are happy. Girls are always mad, always on edge, always ready for a fight. Now, wouldn’t you rather be a grown woman?

The Feminist Movement Defined: The Biology of Gender Roles

The feminist movement, in my opinion is responsible for a lot of the demise and chaos in our society. I have a few theories as to how I think this happened, in which I am trying to put forward in these feminist movement series of blog postings. But I wanted to take this time to explain myself, so as not to shock or offend anyone with my bold opinion. I want to remind everyone that when I say feminist movement, I don't mean the one that made men and women equals. I don’t mean that women shouldn’t become educated or that they don't belong in the work force and don't deserve to vote and shouldn’t wear blue jeans. Don't misunderstand. What I mean is the feminist movement that betrayed women’s nature. That told women that staying at home to be mothers and wives is a waste of a woman’s talents, education, and ultimately her life. The movement that brushed aside the developmental needs of children and decided that institutionalized daycare could replace the warmth and care of a mother. Feminist women who are selfish and demanding of their husbands without giving anything back, treat their husbands poorly and then complain when husbands drift or leave when it is largely their own doing. That is the feminist movement that I am against.

So, how did the feminist movement make women betray their nature? Well, way back when, when men and women were first created by God, he created with them natural strengths and roles to play that would complement each other. The man hunted. He prides himself in being able to take care of and protect his woman, to get food for her, to provide shelter and clothing for her, to be her big and strong man. Women also had a role to play. By their very nature they are feminine, they are dainty, nurturing and beautiful. They nest. They take care of the home and the children.

He hunts and protects, she cooks and nurtures, and together they are a family. They each have roles to play, neither more important than the other. Equal, just different. That idea in and of itself is not condescending towards men or women. It's just that each is part of a team, man plays position A and woman plays position B. Both are equally important to the team, neither superior. Up until the feminist movement, men and women were both totally satisfied and happy to be fulfilling their natural gender roles, the ones God intended and created for them. Men and women respected each other. But all of a sudden, the feminist movement began to put the idea into woman’s mind that these roles are condescending towards women. All of a sudden the feminist movement turned these roles, which were once looked at as teamwork, into competition. Now all of a sudden women are not as good as men. It’s condescending to a woman to tell her she can't fulfill role A the way the man can. It’s condescending to keep her locked up in a house all day to do the cooking and the cleaning and to take care of her man when he comes home, role B. All of a sudden, women start playing role A and men are playing role A. Now there is no one playing role B. What happens to the “teamwork” of getting both roles played? Now a marriage becomes a competition. Who contributes the most money? Who worked harder during the day? Who deserves a break from putting the kids to bed and doing the dishes? So now that we don't have anyone fulfilling both of the roles God created for man, but we have role A overload, two things happen. Resentment comes first, because instead of working as a team together to fulfill each role, you start acting like you’re in competition with your spouse. After resentment comes hate, with holding of affection and sex, and ultimately divorce. Now, as a Christian, I believe that with marriage being CENTRAL to God’s plan, divorce is CENTRAL to Satan’s plan. In my religious opinion, which can be taken or discounted at will, I believe Satan was behind the feminist movement because he knew that with divorce, and no one to play role B, destruction would ensue. I will go over this more in detail in future postings, I just wanted to explain a little more about how women betrayed their nature by this wonderful thing we like to call the feminist movement.

The Feminist Movement. Part 1. The Abusive Spouse

I am an anti feminist. I try hard not to be too outspoken on this topic, because it is somewhat political. And if there is one thing I have learned, it is to never talk politics with those you love. When I am given an opportunity to put a plug into the feminist movement and how it has completely ruined our society, I try to do so gently and I choose my words very carefully, so as not to offend anyone. But it is a topic I feel very strongly about and since this is my blog, I can be as outspoken as I want to be.

Now, before I get into arguing my point to the world I want to make one thing very clear. I am not taking about the feminist movement that got rid of the notion and attitude that women were second class citizens. I am not taking about votes for women or having equal educational opportunities as men. That is not what I mean when I say feminist movement. The feminist movement I am talking about is the one that taught women to believe that masculinity is oppressive, evil and cruel. I am taking about the feminist movement that turned women into nagging and nasty wives. I am talking about the feminist movement that devalued the traditional feminine “stay at home mother” role in a marriage and family. I am talking about the feminist movement that told women that they were wasting their lives their brains and their talents by being in the home taking care of their husbands and children and that told them to get out of the house, throw their kids in daycare and go back to work. I blame 95% of the problems in our society on this movement. Let’s explore this. I have so many different points that can be made concerning this issue that I struggle with where to begin. I have however have decided to break it down into a few posts, so as not to overwhelm you too quickly.

For this part one of the anti feminist in me, I would like to discuss how the feminist movement has turned most women into abusive spouses.  

What I am talking about is the attitude most married women have because of the feminist movement and how it has evolved from respectful towards their men, and gratitude for all they do in the marital unit, to resentment. These women can starve and abuse their husbands. They can emasculate their husbands, withhold sex and affection, respect and admiration and their husbands are just supposed to stand back and take it. The men are not allowed to stand up for themselves or they are considered oppressive, emotionally abusive, or just jerks. Feminist women stand around and bash on their men to each other and compete for who has the most awful husband. They humiliate and shame their husbands in public and in private. I am embarrassed to be of the same gender as these women as it has trained most of the young men I date into thinking that marriage is prison and they want nothing to do with settling down and I can't say I blame them. I would not want to be in a marriage with a spouse like that.

What I have come to learn over the past year while listening to the Doc is that all men have a boiling point. They can only stand so much before they get a girlfriend who will talk to them, who will pay attention to them, who will show interest in them, who will adore them, who will be affectionate with them and who will have sex with them. After the affair, when the knowledge of the affair comes to the table, the man is the only one who gets any of the blame. Sure he breeched his wedding vows, and that I don't condone, but she did first. She did not love honor and cherish him. She did not respect him. She was not kind and tender with him. All of which she vowed to do. A man can only stand so much. Men are very simple creatures. They need affection, they need appreciation and compliments, the need respect, they need food, and they need sex. That’s it. If a woman fails to provide those things to her husband, and he finds it elsewhere, I see no one to blame but her. I find it arrogant and cruel to starve and neglect a man of his needs, and then become upset and kick him out when he finds other sources to meet those needs. If a man is constantly nagged, lectured, belittled, and denied sex, eventually he will stop coming home. But the feminist movement has taught women how to be selfish and how to be self reliant and independent of men. Instead of teaching women how to make wise decisions in their men, it has taught them how to pick poorly, and then beat their men to death trying to change him into what they wanted in the first place. I pity men. I feel sorry for what they have to put up with in marriages. Men can no longer compliment their wives without their wives thinking they are making sexual advances towards them. And heaven forbid they make any kind of sexual advances in a marriage. The woman is to decided when, where and how often. Womanly wiles that have the power to wrap men around the fingers of women are gone. Instead, in their place there is nagging, bitching, and neglect. The idea that the stay at home mother is the lowest form of society has ruined us. It's a shame, because it was never about a woman being a slave to her man, it was about each partner playing their part in the marriage. He protects and provides and she nests. Neither is superior to the other and neither is oppressive. But the feminist movement told us that nesting is oppressive and men are therefore evil and cruel for expecting that of a woman, and have spent the last 30-40 years punishing men for expecting that of us. The truth of the matter is, its nature. It's biology. Men conquer and protect by nature. Women have maternal instincts to nest. To punish a man for that biological setup is just evil. I feel so sorry for men to have to live in the world of feminists.