A Dream Remembered.

"There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind....”

Gone with the wind is the Doc’s favorite movie, she talks about it a lot. Until about a month ago I had never seen it, so I figured I’d had better watch it so I would know better what she was talking about. I am very glad that I did, because not only was it a great movie but she has since made reference to it dozens of times and I finally know what she is taking about. Immediately I was drawn in. I was impressed with the culture and the language and the costumes and the dating rituals. For those of you who have not seen it, I will give you a brief synopsis (and yes, the following paragraph is brief, considering this is a four hour film). This synopsis is my personal interpretation of the film… whether or not I am accurate in that interpretation of the film is debatable. But the following is how I interpreted the events. (And since I have heard more on the Doc’s interpretation I realize I may not have seen things the same way that she did.)

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Scarlet O’Hara is a rich, spoiled, single woman who is in love with a young man named Ashley. Ashley is engaged to be married to someone else. Scarlet makes a fool of herself trying to steal Ashley from his beloved fiancé with no luck. He marries and she then marries someone she does not love to make Ashley jealous. He never blinks an eye in her direction. She becomes a widow due to the war and again swoops in to try to steal away Ashley from his adoring wife. She continues to act like a fool, spoiled and selfish through another marriage (a man whom she stole away from another woman in the neighborhood, a man whom she had no regard towards but only married him for the money and business opportunity he provided her). All this is going on while, Rhett Taylor, a rogue scalawag is madly in love with Scarlett. She is not interested, or so it seems. She fights him off until she realizes that he could be taken advantage of. Meanwhile, the Civil War has swept through Scarlet’s beloved hometown and destroyed her home. She is poverty stricken and finally learns how to work. You would think she would learn some humility and kindness, but in regards to most, she continues to be mean and selfish. The only person she is consistently kind to is Melanie- the wife of her beloved Ashley. Sometimes it seems sincere, other times it seems that it is only in an attempt to steal Ashley away when given a chance. Her second husband dies and Rhett proposes. She accepts but during their whole marriage she still claims to be in love with Ashley. Rhett stays by her side, trying and trying and trying to win her love and affection. He is obviously jealous of Ashley but he never lets that take an effect on how he treats her. Finally, at the end of the film he has had it with her. He refuses to stay by while Scarlet continues to choose Ashley over him. She has committed the ultimate betrayal. He decides to leave her. It is at this point that Scarlett finally realizes what love is, and realizes that she doesn’t nor ever did really love Ashley, but she does and always has loved Rhett.

***Spoiler alert:

I have heard this last line many times before, but I never realized it was from Gone With The Wind. She begs him to stay, and I thought for sure he would. But he doesn’t. As she is petitioning him to stay she asks him what she will do without him. He replies: “Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn” and walks off into the sunset. She is in despair. She finally is completely alone, left to live the life she has created for herself and the movie ends.

At first I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why this is the Doc’s favorite movie. I was surprised over and over again at the behavior of Scarlet, knowing that the Doc must disapprove of her childish and selfish behavior. It does not have a happy ending and it does not show a lot of ethical or moral behavior on the part of Scarlett, and the Doc is all about the morals and ethics in life. Then it hit me. The Doc loves Rhett Taylor.  

What I can understand is the practical application of Scarlett’s behaviors in a lot of what the Doc preaches. First, a point which she makes often, men will only take abuse for so long before they finally have had enough. Some men can take more than others. Scarlett spent years neglecting Rhett and never spent any time showing him love or respect. He had a boiling point that I never thought he would reach. He finally did. Scarlett taught us a powerful lesson on how to treat our men.

Also, men used to be honorable and strong. They took care of their women. They respected, honored and cherished their women. Men were real men. Since the feminist movement and the problem of casual sex, the necessity men had to be real men disappeared as they were allowed to be jerks and still get off.

Women knew what womanly wiles were and they knew how to use them. They understood that to control a man, all you needed to do was use your womanly wiles. Men love womanly wiles and are happy to do what their women ask of them when asked through those wiles, creating a win-win situation. These days the concept of womanly wiles seems to be foreign to women. Instead they have taken to nagging and bitching to control their men. Men get resentful and depressed, women feel like the bitches they are. A lose-lose situation.

There are also many smaller lessons we can learn thorough the film. I was impressed with the concept of manners and hospitality shown by the people in the era. I was impressed with the modesty and the old fashioned dating rituals. I feel that those times were far superior to many aspects of our time. Overall I would say that I enjoyed the film. It can be a challenging 4 hour film but I would recommend it. I appreciate the lessons that time period taught me about dating, manners, clothing, and language. I appreciate the timeless lessons that can be applied to relationships between men and women. Womanly wiles are valuable beyond measure for a healthy relationship, and men do have a higher tolerance for mistreatment, but it is there and there will come a point that a woman will lose her man if she fails to treat him well.

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago, right after I had seen the film. Since writing it I have heard many more statements and references to the movie by the Doc. I will say that I have come to understand better what makes it her favorite film, how amazing Rhett is and how foolish Scarlett is. Today I would write my interpretation of the film a little differently, but that isn’t super important to the point. Just yesterday I heard her say the following statement about the movie. She was talking to a woman who was in love with a weak man. The Doc was trying to warn her against that and she used the film to illustrate the point.

Scarlett O’Hara loves Ashley Wilkes, the weak man and she misses the relationship of a lifetime.

I get it. I love the lessons this classic film teaches. I am holding out for a real man.  

 And I wont be as dumb as Scarlett.