The wisdom of George (is there such a thing?)

In case you cant read this it says:

“Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women.” -George

I LOVE Seinfeld. But that love is not what this post is about. I just thought this quote was fitting for what I am going to blog about.

One of my favorite Dr. Laura quotes has come to open up the world to me over the past year as I have really come to understand it more and more.

Stop whining. Start living.

It's a powerful little motto. It has been a great attitude check point as I have journeyed through life and come face to face with the challenges of that life. My story behind this little mantra is one that I would like to blog about today.   

I don't think it’s a secret to anyone who knows me that I am ready to wed. I have finished all the big milestones young single adults have to accomplish short of marriage and I am dating for the purpose of finding a spouse. Sometimes this fact frustrates me, because the dating game is so wearisome. I often wish I was just on the other end of it, but I was never really too worried about the amount of time I spent being frustrated with it until about a year ago when I was emailed by a good friend who lives some distance away. She was simply distraught with the fact that she was 26 and not married yet. We discussed different details about her life and situation in some detail over the course of a few weeks, but the thing that I just kept seeing was her attitude about the whole thing. She just kept expressing over and over again how much she hated her life. She just wanted to be married and with every passing day that she was not married, she became more and more bitter and negative. She never had anything positive to say about her situation. She just kept complaining about not being married yet. I was so turned off by this attitude that I was sure it is one of the things that was holding her back. It immediately dawned on me what Dr. Laura meant when she said Stop Whining. Start Living. This girl was so caught up in the difficulties of being single that she refused to find any other kind of joy in her life. She indeed had stopped living her life in order to complain. This was a very powerful example to me of how quickly focusing on the frustrations of life can take away the joys of life.

At this time, being unmarried is probably the main complaint I have in my life. While it can be frustrating at times, I realized that I can either focus on the downside of being single, or I can focus on continuing my personal progression in spite of being single. I have many goals in life that include children and a husband, but I also have many goals in life that have nothing to do with being married or having children. I decided after this experience with my friend that I refuse to hold myself back from accomplishing my ‘single’ list just because I can't accomplish my ‘married’ list. I was so sad for this girl who honestly could not think of one single good thing about her life. She was so focused on that one part of her life that wasn’t how she wanted it that she couldn’t focus on any other good thing in life. Life is full of joy for me regardless of the fact that I am single. I have found great joy over the years focusing on becoming a better person. Accomplishing different goals I have set for myself. Doing all the fun things single people get to do. Learning to love and respect myself. Cultivating some very important friendships and other opportunities that life has afforded me. As I continue to grow and develop regardless of my marital status, I’ve become aware that living as a single person is an affirmation of strength and self—not an embarrassing admission of failure.

I have faith that someday I will get married. But I refuse to wait till then to begin my life. I am very careful not to spend any time being frustrated with being single, because there is so much more to life than being married.

 There is a little saying I heard when I was younger and really stuck with me over the years. “You must be the man you wish to marry.” George has his own little interpretation of the same idea. George knows that he is a looser. He also knows that as a loser he is in no position to approach non-loser women. This little quote, "you must be the man you wish to marry" meant to me that if I want to marry someone who was educated, I must become educated. If I wanted to marry someone with a love for his family, I must love my family. If I wanted to marry someone who is driven and goal oriented, I must be driven and goal oriented. If I just sit around sulking and waiting to wed, I won’t be worthy of anyone really impressive.

One of the religious leaders of my faith, in an address directed towards young, single women gave this advice which echoes beautifully the point I am trying to make. 

“If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience and planning. Don't wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks 

  

In other words, Stop Whining. Start Living. I appreciate these statements of advice and think of them daily.

I don't ever want anyone to think that I am just waiting around to get married. I am not. I am moving forward, living my life, ready to wed when the right opportunity presents itself. I am not just sitting around waiting in any sense of the word. I am living and loving my life and progressing as an individual

Thanks to the Doc, I have learned the importance of utilizing the life I do have, utilizing it to bring me happiness and joy regardless of being in situations that are less than desirable.