Thanks to the feminist movement and “free love” our society has disrespected sex to nothing more than something that strangers practically expect of each other simply to feel good.
It’s ironic really, because this trend of casual sex has created a species of jerks. When a man has nothing to work for, he is not going to take the initiative to work for it. We women are the gatekeepers of morality. When we demand nothing of our men, quite typically the man will not decide on his own to esteem to anything. Before the feminist movement, if a man wanted to bed a woman he had to court a her, prove his worthiness, and devote his life to her, to taking care of her, protecting her, and providing for her. Then and only then was he allowed to bed her. Now that we women simply bed any man we meet, these guys are feeling pretty damn good about themselves. They get what they want most without ever having to work hard for it. This turns men into jerks. We women are solely responsible for the creation of jerks. We allow men to be jerks because we date them. If a jerk never got a date, he would be forced to change his ways, but since we date these guys they are never motivated to become good kind and decent. And after we have created the society full of jerks, we complain that there are no good men left. We whine when men disrespect us, don't act chivalrous towards us, yet we take no responsibility that we never demanded respect. We first disrespected ourselves by letting men have a warm place to put it without demanding any regard toward us. Jerks would be extinct if we stopped dating them. If men were no longer able to get any sexual perks without making a marital commitment towards women first they would soon realize that they can no longer be jerks. But since we do not demand anything of our men, and we don't make them work hard for sex, there will always be jerks.
The Doc goes over this idea almost daily on her show. I have heard her different versions of explaining how casual sex created jerks probably 100 times. I have done my best to put into words the lessons I have learned from her. She has however blogged about this a couple times. One of the best explanations I have ever heard on the subject comes from a comparison she makes between our society and that of the Pride and Prejudice time period. I want you to read the words she has to say on the subject. If you are interested in the original blog posting, you can find it here. I have also copied and pasted it below.
Timeless Lessons from a Classic Story
By Dr. Laura Schlessinger
By Dr. Laura Schlessinger
I have watched film adaptations of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in all its incarnations many, many times, and I recently watched the 2005 film version again. I love the film…no matter what criticisms may be about a portrayal or a performance. I clearly have a profound attraction to this work.
First and foremost, I love the utter regard the men had for women, which is evident from how they addressed them: “Miss…” (and their first names if they were single) or “Mrs….” (and their last names if they were married). Men bowed upon entering and leaving a woman’s presence, and women curtsied, even under unpleasant conditions. Flirting was ever-so-subtle: a look, a light “accidental” touch of a hand. A man romantically yearned for and tried to earn the affections of a woman. The sweetness of the regard for women in this era (particularly in upper and middle classes) was something to be admired, and something we now miss. There was a clear distinction between a “good” woman and an easy, loose woman or whore.
That distinction is gone today. Now, women put down good money for music that represents them as whores without pay. So many young men are casual about women and sex in general, and sex is a casual expectation almost always fulfilled.
Young women scoff at dignity and modesty as just stupid, prudish, sexist notions. They “shack up” with some dude without a marital commitment, yet expect the love and respect, fidelity and loyalty to exist without the spoken vows, only to be disappointed, hurt, and generally confused.
There was a recent film comedy, called “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” in which Matthew McConaughey (in a twist on Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”) got to go back into his life to see all his old girlfriends. There was one scene in the television ad for the movie which showed a seemingly endless dining table filled with hundreds of girls. Obviously, this was meant to show how shallow and manipulative he had been. To me, it just showed how many stupid girls there were (and are), “putting out” in a situation where there was clearly no respect, regard, or intent.
Men used to have to ask a woman’s dad for permission to “court” her, even when the woman was an adult! Now, all he has to do is show her a bedroom, back seat of a car, or a motel room, and the date is sealed. When men had to explain and express their intentions, they had to take the whole activity of dating much more seriously, as there were personal and social consequences to misleading a young lady. That reputation would annihilate any chances he might have had of marrying a good woman. He’d have to move states or provinces away. Now? That kind of rakish reputation makes girls/women want to line up to get some from an infamous entity.
The women’s revolution did not raise any consciousness worth elevating. It mostly diminished a woman’s sense of herself as special, minimized her value in the minds of men, put sex on the level of animals, created a nanny/baby-sitter/institutionalized day care financial boom (as women gave up the blessing of nurturing their own children), increased the use of abortion as a birth-control technique when an accidental pregnancy occurred with a guy who did not want fatherhood, created perpetually unhappy, angry, nasty wives, and made it very difficult for “nice girls” to be respected and cherished.
The last scene in Pride and Prejudice between the two now-married lovers has them discussing what she wants to be called by him when he is not using her given name. He suggests one name, and she rejects it sweetly, because it is what her father calls her. She then asks him what he will call her when he is angry. He, not being able to envision that situation, talks to her about always letting her know how lovingly important his happiness in wrapped up in her…forever…and he kisses her gently about her face as he says “Mrs. Darcy” over and over again. He gave her his heart, his life, his vows, and his name. And, in that era, giving a woman your name was the ultimate public and private statement of his total commitment to her, which makes that scene so moving to most of us, and infuriating to feminists who see that scene only as ripping away the woman’s identity.
I always cry at the end of the movie.
I cry also for what women have given up in exchange for wanting to have it all and not be subordinate to a man. I don’t know…I kinda think being on a pedestal is not subordinate. But what do I know? I’m only a recovered feminist.
The other problem I see with casual sex is that it creates false intimacies. I buy the opinion that all too often people today don't know love if it hit them on the face. People today have sex like rabbits, and become torn between real and false emotions. This leads to very unsatisfactory relationships. People bond sexually within the first 3 weeks of dating and then they wonder why 3 years later their spouse or shack-up boyfriend or girlfriend has turned into a horrible person. If you dated a person for 1 or 2 years and didn't sleep together you would have a much better idea of why you loved them. If you have sex in 3 weeks you are emotionally bonded without knowing who or what they really are. Look at what happened to the divorce rate around the 1970’s. It skyrocketed. Why? Because free love became rampant.
In closing I want to share with you two videos on the subject, both from the expert herself. I realize that I have already quoted a lot from her today, but she is so much more eloquent and bold than I am. Both videos have become powerful messages to me and I recommend them to anyone, they cannot be missed, regardless of your personal values.
This first one goes over casual sex and the attitude that it has created. It is called:
These Days, Most Women Are Pigs.
This next video goes over dating and the roles that men and women should play when courting each other. It also plays right into the connection made between jerks and how women are responsible for creating them. It is called:
Dating Roles: NOTHING has Ever Changed
The Feminist Movement has really done a lot for us hasn't it? Personally, I would love to go back to the simpler times and be truly courted. That is the respect I have learned to demand for myself, thanks to none other than the Doc herself.
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